Blog-aversary – Celebrating 1 Year of Blogging


This month marks the 1 year blog anniversary for!

In honor of this, I’d like to highlight my top 5 favorite blog post.  If you discovered the blog later in the year you may not have read these post yet.  Enjoy!

#1 –  If Not Love Then What? 6 Reasons Why I Married Him Other Than Love

love1Six months before I got engaged my friend asked me if I wanted to marry my boyfriend now husband. I said yeah and she asked why. After five minutes of me explaining and no usage of the word “love” she looked at me confused and said…”and because you love him right?”

I was surprised I hadn’t actually said the L word in my long-winded rant, but slightly more annoyed that she insistently needed me to. I did love and am in love with my husband very much, but love wasn’t why I married him nor why I wanted to at the time. Before him I’d been “in love” at least 3 times and claimed love more times than I can remember yet I’d never been married. Love simply isn’t enough to warrant marriage. So if not love then what? If love isn’t enough to equate marriage what are the other ingredients?    Continue Reading

#2 –  The Taboo Question: Is Purposeful Dating Still Okay?


What are you looking for?  This taboo question is usually followed by a nervous pause and then ramblings of a few multiple choice answers: a potential relationship, casual dating, friends?   But why is the taboo question so taboo?  Is wanting to know the purpose or intention of a first or a few dates really all that wrong? 

In my years of awkward bad dating, I was persistent in asking this taboo question.  Sometimes the answer was an eye-roll of disgust followed by, “Why are you pressuring me?”  Other times the answer was a sly smile followed by, “let’s just see where this goes.”

Finally, I found myself at breakfast on a first date….  “A wife” he said confidently, making perfect eye contact.  I choked a bit on my pancakes, uncomfortable with the intense serious eye contact.  Continue Reading

#3 –  Love is Not a Marriage – A Response to J. Bernice from the Blog Outrage to Reform

Love is Not a Marriage I met him in the smoke-filled club on Thirsty Thursday. Our first dance, was T-Pain’s “I’m in Love with a Stripper”.  At last call he was still there, asking me to be his Valentine.  It had been fun, but I couldn’t. I overshared.  “I just broke up with someone, and it was my fault, so no, I can’t.”  I told him.  “Me too”, he said with sincerity.  I wanted to know more….

At times, we both silently questioned why we weren’t more.  After five years, I finally said it. “I love you.  Let’s just try for real.”  I said.  “I love you too,” he said.  “I think that you will be a great wife, and a great mother…just not my wife.”  ……  He knew before I did that Love Is Not a Marriage.  Continue Reading

#4 –  “You Won’t Find Love Until You Love Yourself” and Other Hurtful Bullshit

“You Won’t Find Love Until You Love Yourself” and Other Hurtful BullshitIf you’re single maybe you’ve been told this recently, and if you’re not single, then perhaps folks have moved on to, “When are you getting married?” or “When are you having kids?”.  Regardless of your status, people in our lives for some reason see an urgency to progress things even further and tell us how to make that happen. My favorite of the cliché advice and questions is by far, “You won’t find love until you love yourself”. 

For years, I heard this unsolicited advice from so many people.  It was always said with the best of intentions, intentions to encourage self-love, self-investment and betterment.  But as a single person, after about the 5th time you’ve heard this, it starts to sound like annoying bullshit.  You think, I do love myself!  Shit, the longest relationship I’ve ever had is with myself.    Continue Reading

#5 –  3 Godly Reasons You’re Settling in Love

You’re Settling in Love…for Three Godly ReasonsOne of the things I notice we as women do is coddle each other when it comes to love.   We listen to one sided stories. We agree with each other. We cry on each other’s shoulders.  It’s rare that we call bullshit.  It’s rare that we tell a close friend that she f*cked up.  Why is this?  I think it’s because love is so intimate and personal.  When you mess up, it feels like someone is telling you, that YOU are a problem.  We start to feel defined by our actions, especially the mistakes.  It burns.  And so when our girlfriends come to us venting about a relationship, or sharing details that really don’t sound good, we coddle because we don’t want to spread the fire.  Not when we know how bad it feels to get burned.

In the spirit of love and not coddling my fellow sisters…I’m calling Bullshit.  I won’t coddle and I will tell you this…

You’re Settling in Love for three Godly reasons:

  • You’re misinterpreting God’s signs
  • You have blind faith in God’s delivery of a soul mate
  • You are ignoring your God given tools to process information and make strong decisions    Continue Reading


I hope you enjoyed reading or re-reading my top 5 picks from the past year.  If you haven’t already be sure to email subscribe so that you can have weekly articles sent to you. Thanks for a great year!

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