A Love Letter to Leslie Jones & Other Single Ladies this Valentine’s Day

A Love Letter to Leslie Jones & Other Single Ladies this Valentine's Day.png

If you haven’t already heard about it, Ghostbusters’ Leslie Jones made headlines when she posted this Instagram selfie and caption.

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People commented with sympathy, reminding Leslie that she’s unique and beautiful while others criticized her for lacking confidence and hope.  Honestly, both responses were to be expected.

But truthfully, we all have these moments where despite all the self love in the world we are just f*ckin’ over it!  We are frustrated with bad dates or no dates, the constant reminder from Halloween to Valentine’s Day that every kiss begins with Kay, and all the well-intentioned critiquing, suggesting and reassuring of secretly worried friends and family.

No one’s saying to give up hope and be bitter.  But frankly Leslie, I don’t think you are bitter.  That’s not my interpretation of your post at all.  Perhaps you overshared then? Nope, I disagree with that as well. In an era where we share photos of our homemade vegan pizzas with the hashtag #veganlife, knowing damn well we ate steak and eggs for breakfast, oversharing is not your problem.  Your problem is transparency.  Perhaps it would’ve been more palatable if you’d popped your hip out, flashed some side boob and wrote #single&sexy. Or how about something spiritual like #Waitin’onGod’sPlan.  Naw, that’s too long. How about a hashtag to emphasize your self love #love-me-some-me. Nope, that’s too pro-masturbation. You get the gist though, I’m sure you can think of a few.

But Leslie you failed to hip pop, your selfie was too real. I saw actual sweat parcels, and the kind of head scarf that actually protects your hair during a workout.   And since we are talking about hair Leslie, let’s talk about it.  I’m going to tell you what my ex-boyfriend told me,

“It doesn’t matter if your hair is natural or permed as long as it looks good.” 

And yet, six months off the “creamy crack” and I wasn’t “edge approved”. He was out the door!  Apparently I had missed the memo that beehive blonde was the “in” protective style.  In the words of India Arie, “You are not your hair!”  As long as you just “make sure it looks good”, ditch the creamy crack, be edge approved, don’t emulate white culture, consider the blonde Beyonce extensions and while your at it remember that black is beautiful. Whew! If only sarcasm were a thing.

I digress.  Back to you being too transparent.  I actually only just started following you on IG and Twitter after this incident.  You won me over girl. You are my new celebrity next door neighbor pick.  That is, the celebrity I’d most like to borrow coffee creamer and other random stuff from.  Just remember this.  Behind every #marriedlife there is a husband who plays XBox endlessly while his wife washes dishes, folds the clothes, cooks dinner, changes the sheets and does all, yes all, of the other chores.  It’s a wonder she has time for that #marriedlife selfie. And behind every #Waitin’onGod’splan, or whatever the more catchy spiritual hashtag should be, is a woman whose been through a few men who she damn sure knew weren’t apart of God’s plan. I’m just sayin’.

You probably won’t die alone Leslie.  We could brainstorm the reasons for your singleness; lack of self love, a need to “find yourself”, men are threatened by your success and fame, you work too much, Hollywood cast you in unflattering character choices, etc etc.  Or maybe you need to be like Eve and Serena.  After-all, at the end of the day it really is everyone’s business to speculate your singleness. You know that right?!  Geez if only I’d ever learned to effectively use sarcasm.

I’ll leave you with these parting words Leslie. Goodluck! Dating is a biatch. It’s okay to be annoyed with serial dating and singleness.  It’s okay to be transparent and admit a legit fear. It’s okay to desire real companionship.  It’s okay to be annoyed by the psychoanalysis of couples who claim to know everything about love but honestly just got lucky.  #50%divorce-rate It’s even okay to be momentarily bitter and transparent.  After all, how boring would Instagram, speak-less real life be, if we all spoke in hashtag selfie perfection.  Happy Valentine’s Day Leslie! ❤️

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