Sometimes in life we get married to the idea of something. At some point in our life it mattered to us, we wanted it badly. We began chasing that dream, so hard and fast that chasing it became a habit. It became a part of our existence. Life changes happened but we forgot to update our dreams. We forgot to ask ourselves if we even still wanted the very dream we are chasing so hard. Or worse yet, we are afraid to acknowledge whether or not we still want it. The truth is, when a dream has been a deeply rooted part of your existence for so long, abandoning it can feel like abandoning apart of yourself. Who am I without this dream? What will I do with myself if I’m no longer hyper-focused on chasing this dream?
Do you know what your passion is? I’m not asking what your career or job is, I’m asking about your passion, your purpose.
My purpose is to process information and then deliver it in a way that helps people to understand, digest and apply it. In my day job fractions is my forte. I teach high school equivalency classes to adults. I like teaching math the most, specifically fractions because it’s the topic I least understood in grade school. What makes me great at teaching it now is that I can remember why I didn’t understand. I get the disconnect.
Relationship blogging is the same thing. I remember vividly all the things I didn’t understand about dating, all the misconceptions I had about the opposite sex, and most imperatively all the things I hadn’t yet learned about myself. I can remember all of my ah ha moments, a decade of truth bombs. But more important than just remembering, I get the disconnect.
Like learning fractions, learning about love can be bitterly painful. I love the idea that by screaming on the page week after week, “Yo I f’cked up” I can have a moment with someone whose still in it. I can say, “I knew even less than you about love!” “I was dense. I was repetitively bad at love, but somehow I figured it all out and you will too. Keep going! Stop guilting yourself, laugh at yourself, and keep trying.”
Doing this is the highlight of my week. Closing the disconnect is my passion. And having a passion is one of the most essential ingredients to my happiness.
Here’s why you need to find your passion before you fall in love:
Happy New Year! I am so excited to begin 2018 talking with you about love, life and happiness. This year we are going to dig even deeper. We are going to keep talking about how to find, cultivate and maintain healthy happy romantic relationships. But we are also going to talk more about what it takes to be happy with or without a significant other. I used to really hate when people said things like, “You won’t find love until you love yourself”, or “You should be able to be happy without romantic love.” I wrote these statements off as comments from the “haves” who couldn’t understand the lonely plight of the “have-nots”. But now I know there was and is some truth to those statements.
You see, life happens in seasons. As I write to you now on NYE I’m juggling a 14lb baby on my arm. My left arm is pecking away single handed-ly at the keys while my right shoulder gets more and more soaked with drool and spit-up. This is my season of drool, projectile poops, and sleepless nights. But it’s also my American Idol, Next Top Model, Obama phase. In short, my kid thinks I’m the most important person in every room. When I make my grand entrance equip with baggy stained t-shirt and last nights head scarf he gleams at me like I’m Angelina Jolie in an African orphanage. (Don’t be offended, my kids ½ African so I can say these things!) Anyway, he makes me feel important, like Obama important. And that makes me happy.