Should Women Have a “Hoe Phase”?

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Recently some ladies asked me my opinion on whether or not single ladies should have a “hoe phase”.  At first, I was hesitant to bring this topic to the blog, but if we are gonna talk, let’s talk right?!

Instead of asking the question, is it okay to have a promiscuous or “hoe” phase, we should rather ask if we can handle it.  After all whose permission are we really asking?  God?  Society?

In most religious schools of thought God says wait until marriage to have sex.  Why is this?  Honestly, I don’t think that God thinks sex is shameful or that He’s overly obsessed with our chastity.  I think God just doesn’t want us to end up on Maury.  He doesn’t want us to be burdened with baby daddy drama, STDs, infidelity and broken hearts.  He wants us to find true love, a committed loving monogamous relationship.

Society will always have mixed views.  Some of society will call a promiscuous woman a hoe, a homewrecker, an immoral woman.  Some of society will call a promiscuous woman liberated.  After all, why should women be extra virginal saints when men can openly chase skirts and brag about it. But we shouldn’t be promiscuous just to say “f*ck you” society and your double standards.  Again, we have to ask ourselves, can we handle it?

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Should You Date a Man with Potential?

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“He got that ambition, baby, look at his eyes
This week he moppin’ floors, next week it’s the fries”

We’ve all laughed at the famous Kanye verses, but when it comes to dating someone with “potential” where do we really stand?

I used to pride myself on not being a gold digger, so much so that I frequently dated broke men.  Some were musicians, artists or entrepreneurs who frequently talked about their grand aspirations.  The hype sounded great in the first few dates, I was always intrigued and inspired by their stated ambition.  But after months of hanging out it was clear that the “ambition” was little more than talk without any tangible plans or work ethic.  Yet still I was weary to write off all artist and entrepreneurs as I was one myself.

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3 Love Lessons Learned from the Birth of My Child

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The thing about motherhood is that you discover this new spectrum of love and pain you never knew existed. You never knew the capacity of love could stretch so far nor the depths of pain. It makes your heart raw, exposed.  It’s terrifying. But once it’s happened, once you know this new depth of love you can’t unknow it, you can’t unfeel it, you can’t unwant it.

With the birth of my son came 3 life changing love lessons:

#1 You are stronger than you know

“He’s tangling in his umbilical cord,” the doctor said calmly. “I know you didn’t want a Cesarean birth, but this is what we need to do right now”.  Eight or nine doctors rushed into the room and quickly wheeled me down a hall.  “Will I be awake or asleep? Awake or asleep?” I mumbled as doctors lifted me from one table to another and strapped me down.  This is the last thing I remember before waking up in a new room to my mother and husband. Continue reading