Confidence is everything. In a job interview we need to show that we are confident and capable of possessing the skills to get the job done. Dating is no different. Whether it’s a first date, or an opportunity to meet someone new in a crowded room we need to exude confidence. Confidence is above all the sexiest trait you can take into a room. So how can you increase your confidence and attractiveness?
1. Love your current body type
Be aware that people have types, and you are someone’s type.
“But I’m way too tall!”
If you are a tall woman, don’t slouch, wear flats and wish you could blend in more with your short girlfriends. Own your height. Strut like a model, and know that to someone it’s those long beautiful legs that make you the sexiest woman in the room.
“But I’m just too fat, I need to lose weight first!”
We live in this cosmopolitan world that is constantly telling us that skinny is better right? Ugh, it’s exhausting I know! But God made us all in different builds. If you want to lose weight fine, but don’t obsess over it and think that you aren’t beautiful until you lose the weight. You are beautiful right now, and you need to own it. Don’t wait to buy cute clothes, or wait to live your life. I promise there’s a whole lot of people out there who find you a lot sexier than the super skinny girls. Listen to some Megan Trainor – All About That Bass
“I’m way too skinny!”
Same thing. If you are flat chested, or wish you had more junk in the trunk, stop it! Seriously, everyone is someone’s type. What’s unattractive is the insecurity we exude as we scan the room for chicks that are hotter than us. Just be hot in your own body, own it! Someone will love it!
2. Wear flattering clothes that make you feel beautiful
I am secretly obsessed with Mindy Lahiri, the character that Mindy Kaling plays on The Mindy Project. Mindy is not a super model, and she’s a little chubby like me, but she totally owns her style. Half the stuff she wears I would never wear because it’s so loud and patterned and not my style, but I love it on her. I love that she fearlessly owns her style! If budget or time is an issue, start shopping on Amazon. Amazon carries both big and small brands so it’s like shopping in all the stores at one time.
3. Hook up your hair
For years I sighed and said, easier said than done. Here’s the key to having great hair. Stop wanting what you don’t have and rock what you do have. It’s that simple. If you have short hair and you’ve been trying desperately for the last five years to grow some length, then stop it. Google some short cute cuts and start rocking it. Who doesn’t love, love Meagan Goode’s short sexy cut?
And as much as I’m not an Amber Rose fan….I must admit her blond buzz cut is both hot and low maintenance. I’ve recently been seeing more and more women rock this look flawlessly.
If you have curly hair but wish it were straight, then either spend some money to straighten it or own those curls. And if you have straight hair but want curls, that’s an easy fix too. I personally love curly hair and think it’s the most beautiful thing. What isn’t beautiful is hair envy. Whatever you got, you need to own it, love it and rock it!
Need some curly hair tips follow @curlyyoungthing or @amazingnaturalhair on Instagram. If you have an IG or youtube hair channel to share, please share it in the comments below.
On last thing on hair… and I feel like this needs to be a whole other post in itself. We have to stop hair shaming one another! Whether your most confident hair look is long, short, naturally curly, processed straight, wig or weave you’ve got to own your look and not judge the woman next to you for owning her look no matter what that might be.
4. be subtle but detailed in your beauty
A mani – pedi goes a long way. It’s not the first thing you notice when you meet a person, but it’s definitely something that adds to your overall put together look. Don’t be over the top with your manicures though. Your nails are too long if you can’t hold your phone normal and text. And don’t in your failure to keep up with it have what I call 12 year old girl nails, chipped etc. Undone nails is better than poorly done nails.
Makeup or no makeup? The same rules apply for makeup. No makeup is better than too much or poorly done makeup. I have been waiting 19 weeks for some pregnancy glow and the reverse has happened. This baby is making momma pale and ghostly lol! As a result, I have been using Bare Minerals liquid foundation. I love it! I also use it in the winter when my complexion is pale. Additionally, they make a nice blush with a slight shimmer to it that I wear. My sister who has a year-round glow and flawless skin wears no makeup except for lip sticks or glosses for a pop of color. Decide what works for you and do it well!
Subtle and beautifully arched eyebrows are unnoticeably beautiful, but over arched or drawn in eyebrows that make you look SURPRISED all the time – no Bueno!
Body hair – If it’s your stance to keep it, then fine own that. But if you like to be smooth and hairless, then keep up with it. You don’t want to lack confidence because you are self- conscious about body hair whether it’s your upper lip, legs or under your arms. The best example was the episode of HIMYM where Robin changes her mind mid date and attempts to shave her legs in a restaurant bathroom with butter.
My sister and I just subscribed to LUXE 30. It’s a jewelry subscription where you receive jewelry in the mail. I am personally very excited because I love getting packages in the mail. Our plan is to wear the jewelry for a bit then trade with one another so we can increase the variety even more. The same warning applies with jewelry….don’t overdo it. Jewelry should complement not make you look like a Christmas tree adorned with ornaments!
Accessories in general need to be practical. Don’t be the girl at the party whose super cute purse is so big and heavy you can’t dance with it and need a friend to hold it. I love wristlets and think they were made for a reason, so I refuse to hold anyone’s huge and heavy purse. No thanks!
The same goes for shoes. Regardless of how cute they are….if you can’t wear them all night, don’t wear them at all. Standing barefoot with your shoes in your hand is not hot!
6. Walk and stand tall
When I first started going to big social events I was so shy I would cower into a room and find a corner to hide in. Luckily, I had a confident beautiful roommate who was the exact opposite. She told me that we were the most important people entering the room! She would walk through the space like Gizelle during the Olympic opening scanning the room for an overview. Her confidence commanded the attention of the room. I can remember being 21 practicing her confidence. Fake it ‘til you make it right? And eventually you won’t be faking it anymore. Eventually you’ll confidently walk into any crowded room with genuine confidence and grace.
7. Be visually notable
Whenever I go to networking events I wear a bright color, a cute hat, or tuck a small flower behind my ear. Why? Because it’s a conversation starter. It might seem a bit dorky, and it will be if you act self-conscious about it, but if you own it, that ear flower becomes a conversation starter. “I like your flower,”. Thanks…
8. Be bold, start a conversation.
I learned this lesson when my sister was 12 years old. We were at “the RINK” for those Chicagoans reading. Yassss! My sister and her friend were cowering in the corner snickering about a cute boy. My mom saw them and went over to the boy. “My daughter likes you,” she said. The boy smiled and approached my sister, who took off running. In the car ride home, my mom told my sister and her friend that snickering in the corner about a cute boy was not the way. If you want to talk to someone, go talk to them. I was eight but I heard her. In my twenties, I proved her theory to be true. I’d been to parties and seen friends whisper in the corner about a cute boy like school girls. Be the confident conversation starter, it’s a lot more effective!
9. Have some substance
If you are going to be the confident conversation starter you have to also have some substance. What are you passionate about that’s appropriate to talk about in the first few conversations? Please, don’t talk about race, religion or politics! And don’t fake interest in something you aren’t interested in. People love to talk to passionate people, even if they don’t share your exact passion. It’s the passion itself that’s attractive.
10. End the night
What makes anything hotter? Exclusivity of course. So you’ve walked into a room standing tall and bold, looking aesthetically amazing and eluding confidence. You danced fearlessly, you had a good time, and you boldly started some conversations. You were passionate and intriguing without being over the top. Your final confident act of the night is to return to your friends and leave with who you came with. Men and women, love a little chase. If you spend the entire night talking with someone, then leave with them there’s nothing left. Give someone a chance to go home pondering the intriguing sexy lady they met tonight. Let them desire future conversations. Give them a chance to initiate more.
What other tips do you have for being attractive and confident? Remember, a lot of these tips focused on external beauty. This isn’t to imply that physical beauty equates confidence. Not at all! Confidence comes from the inside. It comes from believing that you are valuable both inside an out. It’s about believing that you are an interesting, awesome person. However, feeling like you look beautiful on the outside will help you to feel even more confident in the inside. Can’t wait to read your tips! Share share share!